Filed under Relationships …

Baby Brother’s Birth

Ten weeks ago, I gave birth to my second child, a boy. We are told in so many ways that birth and motherhood should be blissful, perfect, happy, wonderful. Or that birth is going to be a medical emergency and a nightmare. In reality they are both positive and negative all wrapped into one. The … Continue reading →

Keeping it Real in Birth

Being cared for by a homebirth midwife has been a revelation. Here at 38 weeks pregnant I don’t have a lot of energy or focus to describe my experiences, but I want to mention a few ways this care has changed everything and to link to two articles for more information. First, after my tough … Continue reading →

Separation Toddler-style

“Letting go” has been a recent refrain for me. Preparing for the surrender of giving birth. Letting my older daughter go farther from my arms, challenging both of us to trust our connection, even without physical closeness. Trying to believe that these tests will make us stronger! My daughter, who is now almost 3, started … Continue reading →

Fulfill Your Mothering Urges

Mothering is intense. As I’ve written here and here, sometimes other parenting styles seem like they’d be so much “easier” or more convenient than the path we’ve chosen, or the path our own children have led us down. We may ask, is all this intensity and hard work really necessary? What do I get out … Continue reading →

Asking for Help: Me This Time

I’ve written before about asking for help: how hard it can be for a new mom to feel confident rather than inadequate when she asks; how hard it can be to ask friends and family while fearing rejection. I’ve encouraged women to seek support from postpartum doulas to ease this. In response, women have wished … Continue reading →

Feeling Close, Being Present, Playing

Today was our first day “back to school” with our parent-child class, SF Waldorf School’s Exploring Nature class. I was reminded what a refuge this experience was in my postpartum days. I felt calm and especially close to my daughter after each class. And I found such loving support from the teachers and families I … Continue reading →

Give Some Love to a New Mom

Moms tend to take on the care and nurturing of everyone around us. Especially during the postpartum time, we need someone to care for and nurture us! When a friend had a new baby, I used to walk into her house and think, I want to be helpful, but what do I do? Through my … Continue reading →

‘Lullabies are Love Songs’

“Lullabies are love songs,” says music educator Mary Thienes-Schunemann in her book The Wonder of Lullabies. She goes on: It is through the warmth of our own voices that our love for the child is most truly revealed. To a child in the cradle or in arms, these love songs are the first melodies they hear. They … Continue reading →

Building Support around You: Parent-Child Classes

New parents can feel so isolated — even the most well-meaning people around us can be ignorant about our experiences and our needs. We can feel invisible or even devalued. I’ve written about facing the outside world as a new mom. How can we find a safe place, where we feel understood, and where we are … Continue reading →